bi_disastersoup
Fic writer | Gposer | 30+ | he/him | she/her
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Main Canon
Non-WoL OCs
| Name: | R'alma Crissen (formerly R'alma Tohka) |
| Age: | ~32 (Dawntrail) |
| Race: | Viera |
| Height: | 5'7" (170cm) |
| Build: | Slender, lithe, agile |
| Hair: | Black with red streaks, wavy/unkempt |
| Eyes: | Teal right, yellow left, feline pupils |
| Gender: | Male/Bi-gender |
| Pronouns: | He/They |
| Sexuality: | Biromantic/Demisexual |
| Hometown: | Sagolii Desert |
| Main Jobs: | BLM/DRK/RPR/SGE/DNC/RDM |
| Occupation: | BTN/ALC/Warrior of Light/Adventurer/Mercenary |
| Current Partners: | G'raha Tia (committed), Erenville (FWB), Thancred (complicated) |
| Past Love Interests: | Thancred, Artoirel, Sidurgu, R'bhin Tia |
| Family Members: | R'tohka Nunh (father), R'manafa Jhaz (mother), R'vhebi Nunh (ex-betrothed), R'sana Tohka (older sister), R'kahtoa Tohka (younger sister), Sadu Dotharl (mentor) |
Canon Lore
A Realm Reborn — Miqo'te
Alma Tohka was born a Miqo'te to the Raptor tribe of the Seekers of the Sun, on the 32nd sun of the Fourth Umbral Moon, 17 summers before the 7th Umbral Calamity. She spent her entire childhood in the Sagolii Desert, where her partly nomadic tribe staked their territory. She had long black hair streaked with red, and mismatched eyes, one dark green and one bright teal. Her skin was pale for a Sunseeker, since she spent most of her time indoors studying rather than out hunting with the rest of the tribe.Her tribe and family were largely hunters of great skill and renown, known for their marksmanship with a bow. R'alma, however, showed an incredible affinity for magic and spellcraft rather than martial prowess, which made her feel like an outcast in the tribe. While no one went to any lengths to make her feel unwelcome, neither was there anyone from which she could learn to wield her magicks. And so, feeling as if on some level she didn't quite belong, she dreamt of the day she would set out on her own to find her place in the world.
She put up with the feeling of not belonging for 22 years. But when her parents deemed her of appropriate age to be bonded to a Nunh — as per their tribe's very strict and traditional customs — she decided she'd had enough. R'alma had already been romantically involved with a young Tia by the name of R'bhin, and when her mother found out, the poor boy was strategically cut off and R'alma's social engagements severely restricted.The idea of then being forcibly bonded to a man she didn't know and didn't love was distasteful to her. She yearned for freedom to wander the world, to learn more about the spellcraft she took to so easily. And so she left home, without so much as a word to her parents.
On the way, she picked up a psuedonym — Crissen — to use as a last name, afraid that other Miqo'te would recognize her father's name and send word of her whereabouts. She only made it as far as Ul'dah before her destiny found her and swept her away on what would prove to be the journey of a lifetime.
Heavensward — Au Ra
After the disaster with the Crystal Braves in Ul'dah, R'alma was thoroughly distraught and in a very bad place mentally. Unsure if she'd be able to return there to continue her studies as a black mage, she instead took up the greatsword and began her journey down the path of the dark knight.It was also around this time that she met a shady peddler in Ishgard selling potions that he claimed were supposed to reveal the true nature of a person's soul. Not being in the right mindset to make decisions, and believing the man when he said the effect was only temporary, she bought and took one. As it turns out, the potion did exactly as advertised. The effect was not, however, temporary, and R'alma spent the next several years in the body of an Auri woman.
As an Au Ra, R'alma's skin was a dark, vibrant red, with emerald scales and horns, and brilliant amber-yellow eyes. Her hair was still red-streaked black, the only feature to have stayed in the transformation.Rumors abound among the general populace about the reason for the drastic physical change in appearance of the famed Warrior of Light. The most commonly accepted theory is that they are actually two separate people, and that the title and name have been passed down to the next successor. Most people believe that R'alma Crissen, the original Warrior of Light, was executed by the Crystal Braves at the Bloody Banquet, and that the Scions, in their effort to rebuild, found someone else to take up the mantle, bestowing the same name as a rite of passage.The rumors, of course, did not begin to circulate until R'alma became considerably more well-known in Ishgard, but the fact that she was largely unrecognizable made it much easier to move about the city in the early days.The emergence of Fray marked a distinctive change in her personality at this time. While before she had been fairly reserved and quiet — a young, naive, bright-eyed Miqo'te trying to find her place in the world — the Bloody Banquet had made her jaded and angry. And with nowhere productive for that anger to go, her psyche fractured. The eventual reconciliation of this new facet of her personality gave rise to what would become her legendary temper.
Stormblood — Dotharl
It wasn't until her travels to Othard and the Azim Steppe some time later that she learned why her transformation had been permanent. As it turned out, her soul was that of Altani Dotharl, a formidable Xaela Warrior. Altani's soul had been inexplicably lost after her last death some decades ago, and had been somehow displaced during reincarnation. Sadu of course recognized her right away and gave her the name that she had been previously known by.While R'alma disliked the idea of being tied to the patriarchal society she had been raised in, the new name felt personal and somehow sacred. Besides, she had grown rather attached to the pseudonym she had taken for herself. And so she chose to keep secret the Dotharl name she had been given, and continue going by R'alma Crissen.
Although the opportunity to travel outside Eorzea and see the wider world was invigorating, being elbows-deep in organizing multiple rebellions began to make her feel like there was little practical use for her outside of being a soldier. More than that, the fact that there were several battles that she alone could fight had her feeling like no more than a weapon to be pointed at the enemies of those she aligned with. This on top of Zenos claiming to have found a kinship and a similarity with her in combat caused her to shut down emotionally after the Royal Menagerie, retreating into herself and no longer sharing her thoughts and feelings as much with her companions.In particular, the tragic circumstances surrounding the summoning of Tsukuyomi were especially disheartening. Being forced to kill the primal rather than finding a peaceful resolution for Tsuyu felt like a personal failing, and R'alma was never quite the same after that.
Shadowbringers — Warrior of Darkness
As the war with the Garlean Empire dragged on, R'alma's feelings about being nothing more than a weapon only intensified. And with the Scions all falling inexplicably unconscious one by one, she was beginning to feel very alone as well. She withdrew even further, abandoning her magecraft almost entirely and allowing Fray to govern her emotions.The battle with Elidibus at the Ghimlyt Dark was her first real brush with death, though it did little to ground her. Had it not been for the enigmatic figure's warning about continuing down a path of destruction, she would have thrown herself straight back into the fight as soon as she awakened in Ishgard. Having a lead for how to reach and retrieve the Scions was a welcome and timely distraction from what was becoming a very self-destructive cycle.Fortunately some part of her must have acknowledged that fact, or else she recognized the talent of a fellow experimental arcane scholar, because when she finally arrived in the First, she had very few ill feelings toward the Exarch for stealing her companions. At the very least, she found it surprisingly easy to forgive him for the mishap.She also found it distressingly easy to slip into the mantle of the Warrior of Darkness that he pressed her into, though his reverence and care over the title and her well-being threw her completely off-guard.
It was during her stay at the Crystarium that R'alma picked up martial dancing for the first time. She trained with Captain Lyna regularly, and found she had a knack for the motions and rhythm. As her time on the First went on, however, she found herself relying more and more on her arcane knowledge and skills, and less on her trusty greatsword or the new chakrams she was learning to wield. She commissioned a new outfit at the Crystalline Mean — something lighter and less restricting than the armor she had arrived in. The long green leather coat would not be completed until well after the return of night across all of Norvrandt, but it would become a staple in her wardrobe and a signature and well-recognized look for the legendary Warrior of Darkness.
In the meantime, she chose to wear the traditional garb of the Night's Blessed, including a set of decorative horn jewelry that they specially crafted and gifted to her. The jewelry was commemorative of the return of the night sky, silver chains adorned with moon and stars. They did not tell her it was a gift of gratitude for the Warrior of Darkness, and she did not ask, but all the same, she wore it from then on in honor of their beliefs.While some may have expected the added strain from spellcasting to have hastened the corruption of the Light, in truth it did the opposite. While spellcraft was indeed a greater drain on her aether and strength, the balancing act of the elements provided her body some additional regulation, allowing her to resist the damage from the Light aether for far longer than even she might have otherwise.
In the end, however, even the powerful Warrior of Darkness was unable to resist the overwhelming corruption of Light. While there was no permanent physical damage, the experience left some lingering psychological scars. The sensation of being on the verge of transforming into a Lightwarden left a lasting impression, one that would revisit R'alma's nightmares for years to come.She also retained some persistent memory problems from her time as a vessel for the Light — something that she had never suffered previously. As a part of her abilities with the Echo, R'alma's memory is nearly impeccable. No matter how much she might want to forget any given moment in time, she usually cannot. However, much of her time after absorbing the Lightwarden of Amh Araeng is muddled and difficult for her to recall, and in particular the days right before the Scions' assault on Mt. Gulg are largely an incomprehensible blur.
Endwalker — Meeting Apollo
Discovering the origins of the Ascians and the Unsundered World was a source of great conflict for R'alma. Something within her stirred upon seeing the city of Amaurot that Emet Selch had created beneath the Tempest, and whatever it was only continued to awaken further the more she learned about Azem and her ancient past.Some time after returning the Scions to the Source, R'alma decided to try experimenting with attuning to Azem’s memory crystal, similar to how she did with Fray/Esteem during her training as a dark knight. In doing so, she was actually able to connect to him subconsciously across time. They spoke together several times, during which she learned that his name was Apollo, that he had vivid dreams of his myriad future lives (hers included), and that while biologically male, he often identified as female depending on his mood and disposition, hence why Hades and Hythlodaeus would often refer to Azem as “she”.
Eventually, as matters with the Telophoroi were coming to a head and the journey to Sharlayan drew near, Apollo insisted that R'alma needed to stop contacting him, that she needed to live her own life in the present rather than constantly looking back to the past. As a parting gift, he offered to use his creation magic to alter her body into something more closely resembling his, so that she would have something to remember him by. The new form kept her signature red-tipped black hair, as well as one of her yellow eyes, and the bright teal one from her Miqo'te form that matched his own, giving her ties not only to his past but also to hers as well.
In tribute to Azem, and because he was now biologically male, R'alma chose to start going by male pronouns at this point. There is much speculation among the general populace about the exact fate of the Auri woman who held the title of Warrior of Light for so long. Some say she fell at the battle of Ghimlyt, and that the Viera man took over some months later after the Lunar Primal battle at Cartenau. Some argue that the Auri woman was seen at Cartenau, and must have met her demise there instead.Regardless, it was a Viera man — short in stature, with red-streaked raven hair and piercing, vibrant, cat-like eyes — that boarded the ship sailing for Sharlayan along with the other Scions.Prior to actually leaving for Sharlayan, he picked up a scythe in Ul'dah, under the tutelage of the Lemures, and formed a pact with a voidsent. The avatar's name is Hecate, and her demands were surprisingly non-existent. She offered herself up willingly as his partner, and the details of their contract are largely unknown.R'alma's temperament remained much the same even with the new body. Though he was also now under an immense amount of stress, and this was made clear through his ever-present temper being rather shorter than normal, and through his habitual reliance on alcohol to deal with the more complicated and political problems that they now faced. The alcohol was not a new problem, but it became a more frequent one as the Scions sought to avert the Final Days.He was still very withdrawn and reluctant to talk to anyone else about his thoughts and emotions, which made it incredibly difficult for anyone to help him with the immense burden that came with their latest endeavors.
The mission to Garlemald was a particular struggle for R'alma. Not only was his brand new, specially gifted body snatched and used for untoward ends, the people he was closest to were nearly brought to their demise by his own hands — literally, if not figuratively. On top of that, Fandaniel's schemes had R'alma feeling like he was being dragged around and his hand forced at nearly every turn, and the outcome was that the Final Days had been rekindled by his own deeds. He was sickened by this, and the sensation of having Zenos inside his body left a lasting and unpleasant impression.
Upon his return from the moon — and not wanting to burden any of his companions with his apparent shortcomings — he locked himself up in his room at the Baldesion Annex, where he began his first experimentation with a process called Aether-searing. It was a technique he had read about in one of his previous forays into Noumenon which allowed for an individual to use aether to mark their own skin semi-permanently.The experience was grounding, and greatly reduced the discomfort and memory of Zenos' possession. However, a combination of an excessive amount of alcohol, the strain on his aetheric reserves, and the confrontation with and close proximity to Zodiark's heavily Dark-aspected aether resulted in him falling deathly ill immediately after.
The Scions were not made immediately aware of the introduction of the aetherial marks, and were left to speculate about what exactly caused his sudden and debilitating illness, particularly since R'alma had been so closed off from all of them for so long by this point. This resulted in an intervention attempt of sorts by a select few members of the group, to varying degrees of success. All attempts to convince the Warrior of Light to stay behind and rest when the Final Days arrived soon after in Thavnair, however, were staunchly ignored.Upon returning from Ultima Thule, however, and while tending to his injuries sustained during his final fight with Zenos at the end of the universe, the Scions uncovered the aether searing, which by this point had become quite extensive and covered a majority of his body. He had kept them hidden until this point by dressing in more concealing clothing — long-sleeved heavy robes and the like — which had to be removed in order to heal his injuries. The Scions also discovered at this time that his new body included a small tail, which he had also hidden until this point as most other Viera do not have them and he felt strangely self-conscious about it. The tail had been badly sprained during the fight, an injury made worse due to the fact that nobody was aware of it and therefore did not accommodate it while transporting him home.After these events, however, despite considerable prevalent scarring, and with a significant amount of encouragement, R'alma made efforts to dress in ways that did not conceal (or possibly damage) these aspects of his body that he had previously sought to obscure.
6.1 — Shifters
After his eventful trip exploring the ruins at the bottom of the Bounty, and while waiting for Y'shtola to decide the next step in opening up the Voidgate, R'alma began an alchemical project of his own. The goal was to refine and recreate a Fantasia — black market potions that could change one's physical appearance, but were typically temporary and unpredictable. He wanted to make his own concoction that was not only longer-lasting, but would allow for complete control over the resulting form.The purpose being, of course, to return to his previous form without losing the body that Azem had gifted him. As he further explored his own identity, he had realized that he still felt he identified as female on some occasions, and he sought to reflect that by his own power.
The basic theory for the potions — which he called "Shifters," for their shape-shifting properties — was rooted in the concept of Creation Magicks that he had witnessed and studied briefly in Elpis. The formula he based on the black market Fantasias, as well as the leftover remains of a potion he had been recently given by Feo Ul, one that was essentially bottled fae magic specifically intended to change a creature's form temporarily. The resulting formula required not only an immense amount of concentration and focus to achieve the desired form down to the smallest detail, but also a significant talent for aether manipulation and control. It was, put simply, tailored specifically to R'alma's own capabilities, and while it might certainly work for others, the outcome would be less consistent in other subjects. Because of this, and for a variety of other reasons, he chose to keep the formula to himself rather than make the results of his testing public.
The testing itself was extensive and arduous, with no small number of failed attempts. R'alma discovered early on that the volatile concoctions were largely unsafe in frequent doses, due to the way they both twisted and drained a person's aether, and so the trials — which he conducted on himself by necessity — had to be spaced out with several days between attempts. In all, the testing period took about six months, but by the end of it, R'alma had succeeded in creating a potion that would allow him to revert to the Auri body at will, and return to his preferred form afterward.Though he had precious little opportunity to take advantage of them, as events soon transpired that prevented him from being able to use them for nearly an entire year.
6.2-6.5 — Into the Void
R'alma was initially enthusiastic about the prospect of exploring the Thirteenth, particularly in the context of finding a way to normalize and facilitate travel between shards. Meeting Zero was a mildly traumatic event, considering he still experienced nightmares of the voidsent coming far too close to taking G'raha's head. After getting to know her a bit more, though he still couldn't bring himself to get close to her, he no longer found her presence in their expedition discomforting.The challenge of the Four Fiends was a welcome one, a way in which he could test his strength for the first time since recovering from his extensive injuries. However, the battle with Scarmiglione proved far more taxing than he had originally anticipated, and left him oddly exhausted. Confronting Barbariccia immediately after only further drained his remaining strength.All the same, the others were shocked when, upon returning from the Void, R'alma promptly collapsed. He was rushed to a room in Thavnair to recover alongside Zero, who was in a similar state of exhaustion, and G'raha was alerted to come tend to him.
Y'shtola could find nothing wrong with his aether at first, and the incident was chalked up to a lack of stamina following his recovery, or possible lingering trauma to his body from the fight with Zenos. He was instructed not to push himself in the following weeks while the rest of the party continued their investigation — orders which he was loathe to follow, but did so anyway.When his condition failed to improve after several weeks of forced rest — and in fact seemed to be getting steadily worse over time — G'raha insisted that he see a healer immediately. None could seem to find the issue, and the copious traveling only served to make him extremely weak and ill. At a loss, R'alma eventually sought out Y'shtola in Old Sharlayan once more for advice.This time, to her shock, she was able to determine that R'alma was in fact carrying a child, and had been since before their foray into the Void. Due to the fact that he had been completely clueless about it, she insisted that he remain in Sharlayan for monitoring, especially after he made the decision continue carrying it. She was concerned that his reckless tendencies, as well as his continued use of the Shifters until that point, might introduce some complications.
As a result, he was unable to continue assisting with the investigation into Azdaja's whereabouts on the Thirteenth. Instead, he manifested Fray in a more permanent form, transferring his contract with Hecate to her so that the two of them could continue on in his place. Thanks to the advent of the Shifter potions, no one was the wiser for the switch, despite the fact that Fray maintained the feminine Au Ra form. The only people aware that R'alma still remained in Sharlayan during this time were Y'shtola, G'raha, and Krile.Being essentially rendered an invalid for several months — at least in his own eyes — he took the opportunity to complete some alchemical requests for Margrat during this time, as well as polishing up on some healing abilities, as he had acquired a set of nouliths prior. G'raha also had very little involvement in the ongoing expedition, even when it required a visit to the First, preferring instead to stay in Sharlayan to keep an eye on his partner.
In the end, though Fray and Hecate did an admirable job filling the role of the Warrior of Light and Darkness for the duration of the investigation and following conflict, Golbez and Zeromus proved to be just a bit more than they could handle on their own. Thus, immediately after the birth of his child, R'alma was obliged to swoop in at the last minute to aid in the prevention of Zeromus' destruction of the barrier between shards. Though this time he opted for a supportive combat role, taking on a Sage's mantle so as to conserve his vastly depleted strength.The battle was still grueling and heavily taxing, especially so soon after what ended up being a rather complicated delivery. Despite this, he still insisted on challenging the Twelve not long after Azdaja had been returned to the Source. The gods had promised a trio of boons of his choosing in return for taking on their trials, and he was keen on securing their blessings for the little one before much more time had passed.
Dawntrail - New Horizons
⚠️ Spoilers for 7.0 Dawntrail below this point! ⚠️
Proceed at your own risk(Non-modded screenshots provided as placeholders. This section is also under construction at present!)
One of the blessings requested from the Eorzean divinities was the gift of time — time to spare to raise the new addition to their family in peace and without interruption. This was granted in the form of a temporal barrier around the island of Sharlayan, which to the outside eye lasted for the duration of but a handful of months but allowed for the passing of five years within.As a result, though Erenville left on his journey back to Tural while the investigation into the Void was still underway, and returned to the island with the Third Promise in tow not long after, the Warrior of Light's young progeny, Lihn, was already grown into a boy of five summers by then.Though R'alma was still prone to taking quick trips out of the city — he sought to expand his arcane repertoire during this time by taking up the study of Red Magic — he was unable to remain outside of the barrier for longer than a handful of days without risking losing significant time with his family. Thus, when the prospect of exploring a whole new continent was presented to him, he was eager for the opportunity. He agreed quickly to assisting Wuk Lamat in her bid for the Dawn Throne, though the question of how to handle Lihn's caretaking required some discussion with G'raha.Ultimately, it was decided that the boy was old enough to accompany the Warrior of Light on this particular adventure, especially as the trip was expected to be far less dangerous than any of his more recent escapades. G'raha, on the other hand, opted to stay behind and help catch up on some of the work at the Annex, a gesture offered in gratitude for the countless times that Krile had helped them with Lihn's care, so that she could join the expedition and learn what she sought about her own family and circumstances.
Seeing the pair off on the boat bound for Tural was difficult. G'raha could not help but worry that Lihn was perhaps too young after all for such a long journey. R'alma assured him that they would be fine, and besides which the Levellieur twins — now quite a bit older themselves — would be there to help him keep an eye on the boy.
Ar'lihn, for his part, was ecstatic to be able to take part in an adventure the likes of which he had grown up hearing about for the entirety of his short life already. Though the journey by ship was lengthy, he found plenty to amuse himself with, not least of all pestering Erenville with countless questions about the wide variety of beasts and creatures that he had seen as a Gleaner.
On Aether-searing — R'alma's Full Body Tattoo
(Spoilers up through Endwalker)
The following is a complete and thorough description of the meaning of all of R'alma's various tattoos, complete with illustrative diagrams.Starting with the tattoos that tell the story of R'alma's journey as the Warrior of Light, this entire section is the ARR portion — everything from awakening to the Echo until leaving Ul'dah at the end of the Bloody Banquet.
1. Triangular mark with the dot inside is a mark he uses to denote "Miqo'te" and represents the body he was born with and that he started his journey in2. The diamond shape represents Hydaelyn, and is placed here for the first time meeting her. The two dots on either side are Thancred and Nanamo/Lilira, who were present at the time and went on to become prominent figures in his tale.3. The square here represents the fourfold threat that was the Ultima Weapon — three primals in one powerful Allagan construct. The circle around it stands for the Ultima spell itself, or perhaps the ruins of the Praetorium. The dots on either side represent Gaius and Lahabrea.4. This is the Bloody Banquet. The crescent is Ilberd and the Crystal Braves, the large circle is Nanamo, and the smaller dot is himself, standing by and unable to do anything. The slashing marks are his frustration and anger whenever he thinks about this event.5. This hollow circle is a symbol he uses repeatedly to show when he felt alone, empty, or abandoned. In this case, him, Alphinaud, and Tataru are all that is left of the Scions after the events of the Crystal Braves' betrayal.
There are a lot of these early symbols that I am honestly having to guess at what the meaning was when I originally drew them. It's been a long time since I designed his tattoos, and it happened over the course of several days. These first sets are far more simple and abstract than some of the later ones, and part of the reason I want to document them all is because the meaning has been at least partially lost to me already.I should also mention that his first round of applying these tattoos was done while drunk (he has very poor coping mechanisms) including the ARR story and part of the HW story. So if those tattoos look a little sloppy, well... There is also a random dot just outside the red area in the image above. That mark is meaningless and was an accident that has not been removed yet.Moving on, the following section is part of the HW portion of the journey. This tattoo runs halfway down his thigh as well, so the image reference had to be taken in two parts. The rest will be shown below:
1. The swirling mark with the dot in the middle is what he uses to represent his Au Ra form, as it reminds him of the shape of her horns2. This series of triangular shapes is Ishgard, as it looked to him when he first saw it from the Steps of Faith3. A repeat of the previous marks, this is him, Alphinaud, and Tataru entering Ishgard4. This triangle represents Alphinaud, Estinien, and Ysayle, encompassed by the camaraderie that developed between them as they all traveled together. The dot outside of the circle is R'alma. He felt... not as empty as before, but not part of the group. This is difficult for him to admit.5. This is either Nidhogg or the Vault. Whatever it is, it's dark and he would rather not remember it.6. Meeting with Hraesvelgr. The two dots are Estinien and Ysayle, and the crescent shape is pointed away, representing the dragon's dismissal and refusal to aid them.7. This symbol is shown in more detail below, but it represents Ysayle's death.
The rest of the HW tattoo, extending down his right leg:
1. Ysayle's death. It has been deliberately placed in a spot on his pelvis that almost no one will ever see, because it is a very painful memory for him. The reason it is in a tornado shape is because the last thing he remembers of her is the swirling, falling aether from Shiva's dissipating summoning.2. Aymeric meeting with Hraesvelgr. In this symbol, the crescent shape is turned in, representing the dragon finally agreeing to help against Nidhogg3. This tattoo is the Scions confronting the Warriors of Darkness. On the left are six dots, representing R'alma, Thancred, Y'shtola, Urianger, and the twins. On the right are five dots on a black field, representing Ardbert, Branden, Lamitt, Renda-Rae, and Nyelbert
Running down his left side, from his ribcage to his upper leg, is the Stormblood portion of the journey. Here the symbols begin to get more complex and dense:
1. The attack on Rhalgr's Reach2. R'alma, Lyse, Tataru, and the twins setting off across the sea on their way to Kugane3. The Dawn Throne, with Cirina, Sadu, and Magnai depicted on top, unified by the Naadam4. The destruction of Doma Castle. The two dots are Yotsuyu and Goesetsu, and the opposing curves mean a major conflict or war. He uses this symbol a few times in this stretch of the story for obvious reasons5. The battle for Ala Mhigo6. The hollow circle, this time representing how empty he felt after the fight with Zenos. The fact that nobody could get through to the Crown Prince bothered him a lot after, and the victory felt hollow to him. The Scions are shown here sharing in that feeling7. This is the parley with Emperor Varis at the battle of Ghimlyt Dark. The opposing curves are turned outward, showing the attempt at a peaceful resolution. The Garlean crest can be seen here, with the small dot representing Nanamo's defiance in the face of Varis' stubbornness and adherence to his faulty ideals. Below that is a series of triangles, Varis and the two bodyguards that R'alma ended up having to dispatch in the course of the ensuing battle.8. The Call. The triangle is the mysterious voice taking his friends. The star inside the circle is the souls of his companions, stolen away to another world he can't reach. The hollow circle appears again, along with dots to represent those Scions left behind: Tataru and Krile, and Hoary Boulder, Coultenet, and Riol, left to run the Rising Stones.9. The Crystal Tower, bridging the two legs of the journey.
Tsuyu's death is specifically not documented here because R'alma considers it a personal failure of his and finds it still very painful.The ShB part of the journey runs down R'alma's left leg, stopping just above his ankle:
1. The Crystal Tower is technically a part of both sets, bridging the two legs of the journey and representing the crossing over from the Source to the First2. The five dots represent the five Lightwardens, each in their own domains within Norvrandt. The crescent shape here is the accumulated Light, and how it nearly transformed him into a Lightwarden himself. This is a terrifying reality that still plagues his nightmares at times3. Amaurot and the Final Days, as depicted by Emet-Selch. (This is actually probably my personal favorite of all the symbols I drew in this entire design, because it's so simple but I feel like it still perfectly conveys what it's supposed to mean without any explanation)4. The loss of Emet-Selch. The hollow circle appears again. The three dots represent the three Unsundered, all of which R'alma has had to kill, and the wispy lines are his sorrow and distress at having been forced to do so5. The loss of Elidibus. Depicted here is the Emissary, marked with lines of R'alma's frustration at not being able to save him, as well as Azem's memory crystal and a triangle for Hythlodaeus, as he played such a pivotal role in this part of the story6. Setting the stage for the next part of the tale. The now-eight Scions are shown here — R'alma, Thancred, Y'shtola, Urianger, G'raha Tia, Estinien, and the twins. Also shown are a reborn Zenos, depicted as a scythe shape with a dot, and the small triangle is Fandaniel, presented as a new but unknown threat
All of these tattoos were added throughout the course of the Endwalker expansion, and had been completed by the time the Scions set out for Ultima Thule. As such, the EW story has not been added in full yet. It will be added at a later date, most likely. However, once alone in Ultima Thule and before confronting Meteion for the final time, R'alma added one more series of dark marks to his legs.These marks begin on his left calf, and run bottom to top. The direction was intended as an effort to manifest some semblance of hope despite the crushing despair he was feeling at the time:
1. The first mark depicts all eight of the Scions on their way to Ultima Thule, in the form of eight dots in the midst of a dark field2. The second mark depicts the Scions' arrival at Ultima Thule, but now there are only seven of them. Thancred's sacrifice has been made.
The rest of the marks start on the outside of his right calf, and run up across his knee to end on the inside of his right thigh.
1. This third mark depicts the six remaining Scions after Estinien has made his sacrifice2. The fourth mark shows just four Scions remaining after both Urianger and Y'shtola have left them.
1. The largest of these marks is the fifth one, depicting R'alma and the twins as the only members left after G'raha's sacrifice. This was the hardest part for him, and the one that nearly broke him2. After that, the hollow circle appears once more as there is no one left but him. The two dots were added later to represent Hades and Hythlodaeus, who turned out to be waiting at the end of the path for him
The following are the less narrative tattoos, and there are a lot of them:
1. The very first tattoo he did, done mostly as a test to see how the aether-searing worked.2-3. These large blocky shapes were used to cover up the tingling sensation he had after Zenos took over his body. The memory of the violation made his skin literally crawl, but the mild burning sensation from the aether-searing dulled it.4. The Ribbon of Fate. The eight simple symbols represent R'alma and the Scions, tied together by fate. It's one of his more comforting markings5. The four Ancients that had the greatest impact on him: Hermes, Venat, Hythlodaeus, and Hades. They are positioned specifically outside but alongside the ribbon of fate.6-7. More experimental tattoos meant to block out the feeling of Zenos in his skin. These are mirrored on both sides of his chest.
And on his left arm:
1-2. These are a couple of magic-casting formulas that he found in some books in Old Sharlayan. He copied them down so he could experiment with them later.3. The symbol on his DRK job stone, a tribute to Fray. Having this symbol marked into his skin actually allows him to utilize some few of his DRK-specific abilities even when not wielding the appropriate weapon/vestments, but it is very taxing and difficult to achieve. He can also use the symbol to manifest Fray in a more physically tangible form for extended periods of time, but doing so steadily drains his aether.4. More blocking out Zenos. Like I said, there's a lot of this...5. The constellation from Emet-Selch's Convocation memory crystal6. All of the symbols on both of his hands are actually arcane foci, used to help channel and magnify his aether while casting. Having these symbols on his hands not only allows him to cast far more potent spells than he used to, but also permits casting without a rod. Casting in this manner is very taxing, however, as it requires him to direct his aether into the symbols themselves, which are much smaller and more precise targets than the focusing element of a casting rod.
Left shoulder and collar:
1. The symbol on his BLM job stone, his primary combat job. Just like with the DRK symbol, having this mark allows the limited use of some few BLM-specific abilities even when not wielding the appropriate weapon. However, it is extremely taxing and difficult for him to do so.2. In Eorzean script, "Listen to our heartbeat," another tribute to Fray. One of only two actual phrases written out in Eorzean3. The symbol found on Azem's Convocation memory crystal, a tribute to his previous life and the one who gifted him his current body.4. A starbird, in honor of Meteion.
Back and left shoulder:
4. One of several constellations that he has heard are supposed to have some arcane meaning or significance. He hasn't figured out what it is yet, but he has added it and also mirrored it on the other side of his back just in case.
1. A collection of arcane symbols that he uses in a variety of spellcasting techniques to enhance or change the properties of his spells. He adds them in this cluster as he comes across them in various tomes or scrolls during research, and will continue to add more as he finds them. Their placement has no particular significance, he just finds it easier to have them all in one easily accessible location so he doesn't lose them.2. In Eorzean script, "Remember us," the last words of Emet-Selch as a living man.3. A diagram of his leylines spell. When the leylines themselves are not active, he can activate this glyph to add a fraction of the speed enhancements to his normal casting. This is, again, very taxing on his energy and aether.
5. Omicron data/power circuit maps, again one of several that he observed in use. He suspects the layout may have some enhancing effect on aether, so he's testing to see if he can get any use out of the specific arrangement.
Inside right forearm — the racial markings. The tattoos in this section represent the different forms his body has taken in the past:
1. This symbol stands for Azem, as Apollo had Hyuran-looking ears.2. The triangle motif, again, representing the shorter, animalistic ears of the Miqo'te body he was born with.3. The swirl that reminds him of the horns of his female Au Ra form.4. The longer triangle represents the longer ears of the new body that Azem gifted him. The closest that most people are able to come to describing it simply is "Viera," and after he started taking the Shifter potions to change his form at will, it is far more accurate than it used to be.5. Trail of dots, more ridding himself of the itch from Zenos
Right arm and shoulder tattoos:
1-2. More constellations that have some arcane significance that he's unsure of at present3. Another Omicron power grid he's testing4. This constellation is one that he discovered is somehow associated with Hythlodaeus. He added it here, to mirror the one for Hades on his other forearm.
On the inside of his left forearm is another Omicron power grid, smaller than the others. But he's actually found a use for this one. The purpose of this mark is to mix astral and umbral aspects of some of his spells. This is how he figured out how to cast the Paradox spell, a mixture of ice and fire that he had been unable to attain prior to finding this grid.
And the last of the tattoos that he has accumulated at present.The flames on his chest should be obvious — he's a black mage of incredible power with a horrible temper. That, and he has been known to set things on fire by accident. Fire is sort of his motif in a way. This is purely decorative, but it's honestly the closest thing to a traditional tattoo that he actually has.The circular shapes going up his right side were influenced by Hecate. He doesn't know yet what they mean, as she did not tell him, but he was hoping that his forays into the Thirteenth might shed some light on what they are and what they're for.
Relationships of Azem and Relevant Shards - A History
Prologue: Apollo, Abaris, Hades, and Hythlodaeus
To start at the beginning, Apollo was well-liked and had a great many important friendships and connections. Most important to him was his partners, Hades and Hythlodaeus, and his close friend Abaris.As soon as he was appointed to the Seat of Azem, Abaris begged him to take her on his travels. Which, of course, he did. She was one of his best friends and one of his favorite traveling companions. She was in love with him, and he was aware, but it was unrequited. He did not feel confident that he would be capable of loving her in the way that she deserved.
He tried his best not to lead her on, but he still very much enjoyed her company, and she, trying her best to be understanding, made do with what companionship she was able to get from him.
During the Final Days, the two were in a remote village, trying to help evacuate the locals. Azem was not in Amaurot to stop the Convocation from summoning Zodiark, though he had made his opinions on the matter explicitly clear before leaving.Abaris was struck down by one of the beasts attacking the villagers. She died in Apollo's arms, but before she did, she swore to him that no matter what happened, no matter how far apart the shards of their souls might drift in the afterlife, she would always find the pieces of him.This promise was seared into her soul, even in death.
"After losing his dearest friend trying to help evacuate a small village under duress from the Final Days, Azem returns to Amaurot to find the city in flames — and one of his partners gone. Discovering that Emet-Selch has allowed Hythlodaeus to sacrifice himself for the creation of Zodiark, the normally calm and quiet Apollo flies into a rage and has some very choice words for the illustrious Thirteenth Seat. Soon after, he vacates his own, leaving the rest of the Convocation to face the fate they created for themselves."
"She waits for him, their souls reunited in the Aetherial Sea. Abaris and her Apollo, ready to begin their lives anew. A promise seared into her soul, she will always find the pieces of him, no matter how far apart they may stray. And maybe, in one of these new reincarnations, he will be able to love her the way he feels she deserves..."
Chapter 1: A Bond Reborn
Enter R'alma Crissen, reincarnated shard of Apollo. As a member of a very traditional Seeker tribe, her parents are determined to mate her off to another powerful Nunh. Not keen on the idea of being bonded to some young Nunh she barely knows, she opts instead to leave home and seek out a life of adventure in Ul'dah.
Eventually, true to the promise made, she meets the reincarnated shard of Abaris, in the form of a young Tia from a far-flung tribe. G'raha can't explain what it is about this rising star of an adventurer that draws him to her, but it is undeniable that he feels the need to travel with her, to see whatever it is that she sees in the world, and to experience her rise to greatness as he somehow knows she will.
Their bond is purely platonic, but it is a strong one — not unlike the bond between Abaris and Apollo had been. They come together over their shared cultural upbringing, and quickly reach a point of being on given-name basis with one another.Thus is it all the more painful......when he voluntarily leaves her behind...
Chapter 2: Dragonsong Dalliances
After the Bloody Banquet, R'alma is heartbroken over the loss of a close friend (G'raha), a beloved associate (Moenbryda), and her crush (Thancred), as well as all of the other Scions who she had come to trust and rely on. Arrival in Ishgard brings with it a failure to cope and impulsive experimentation with dangerous black market body-altering potions.
She forms a deep camaraderie with Haurchefant, however, and an even deeper bond with his older brother, Artoirel. The young heir of House Fortemps is enamored with her fire and spirit, which have become increasingly more pronounced as her communions with Fray progress. But her new body — which seems to be a permanent fixture rather than a passing side-effect — has a strikingly draconic look to it, and he is duly worried about the talk that the other nobles may engage in were they to discover such a scandalous relationship.Their trysts are conducted in secret, a fact that bothers R'alma to no end. But no one has ever looked at her the way Artoirel does, and so she puts up with the secrecy for his sake. For a while, at least.
Haurchefant's death causes a bad rift between them, however, and the affair ends abruptly and wordlessly. While no blame is cast, explicitly or otherwise, they are both grieving the knight's passing in very different ways, and R'alma does feel responsible for taking his brother away from him and his family. On top of that, she has grown weary of the way he seeks to conceal his involvement with her from others, and has even begun to internalize his rationale to some extent, envisioning herself as having "filthy hands" that would sully any good man's reputation — or indeed his very life.Instead, she finds herself in Sidurgu's arms for a night, seeking out comfort and consolation in the midst of an alcohol-ridden period of mourning. Neither of them speak of the incident the next day, or ever again for that matter, and R'alma moves on, heart a little colder for having braved the eternal winter of Coerthas.
Chapter 3: Storm of Emotion
The roguish bard that recruited her into the Scions to begin with had always been a source of intrigue for R'alma. She found herself attracted to him, and he did little to discourage her crush.Her bad break in Ishgard, however, made her simultaneously more bold and less willing to form a defined attachment to anyone. While she and Thancred spend less time together during the Ala Mhigan Resistance, due to his reconnaissance and her travels to Othard, her flirtations toward him when they are together become far more direct and inviting.And so it is that her affair with the rogue begins.
Their arrangement is far from secret, and becomes the subject of much speculation. Especially considering that it is the only thing remotely close to a romance that the fabled Warrior of Light has had openly, as Artoirel was so successful in quashing rumors that it is largely believed that she has had no romantic attachments whatsoever before this point.She refuses to let herself get too attached to the idea of romance, however, and convinces herself that their involvement is temporary and purely physical. And while she does intend some level of discretion in the publicity of their dubious relationship, her casual approach only serves to stoke the rumors further.The erotic novels — based entirely on the curious speculation of the authors, of course, rather than on any solid fact — are significantly more difficult to ignore. One series in particular gains such runaway popularity that R'alma considers trying to find out who the author is and having a very threatening discussion with them.The implications of the trashy novels, though, that her involvement with Thancred is more rooted in emotional investment is not lost on her. They have never defined what they are specifically, more than a distraction from the stresses of leading a rebellion. But neither have they explicitly stated that there is not more between them. And the seed of something lodges itself in her heart.A desire to more clearly define who this man is to her.
She does not get the chance to do so, before he is whisked away from her and to another plane where she cannot reach. And five years pass for him before she is able to see him again...
Chapter 4: Romance in the Shadows
The presence of the mysterious Crystal Tower on the First is a painful reminder of the loss of her friend. One that R'alma has a difficult time accepting. Everywhere she turns, she finds more memories of the man who left her behind all those years ago. A man that, while not a romantic interest, she still loved all the same.And yet, somehow, she manages to miss the biggest and most glaring reminder of all standing right in front of her nearly at all times.
She does not recognize the Exarch at first. Perhaps it has been too long since she has heard his voice, or perhaps it sounds different to ears that do not have the same form and shape as when they were last together. Her memory is normally impeccable, but this one truth somehow escapes her. If she had known, then maybe she would not have begun to fall for him as she did...
Her reunion with Thancred is tainted by the fact that so much time has passed for him. And by the desire she has been nurturing, the desire to finally define what they are.A desire she fails to voice openly.And between the way he refuses to acknowledge her romantically, and the way he treats his young charge, she snaps. Her opinion of him forever marred. The grudge has begun to form instead.But the farther they drift apart, the closer she seems to cling to the Exarch instead.
The kiss is a mistake. An accident. And because of the Light poisoning her body and mind, she doesn't even remember it until much, much later. She thinks she is going to her death, an assumption he unknowingly shares.
But he is so caring, so concerned with her well-being at every turn. It is a feeling she has not had from anyone in so long. Considered a weapon, a tool of the Scions, meant only to serve the greater good, and told so for so long that she has begun to believe it whole-heartedly. The coldness of Coerthas has claimed her heart yet again.Until he begins to thaw it out. He cannot help himself, so drawn to the woman he has been studying and chasing for so many years. The woman he has watched from afar. Whose flaws he is well aware of, and whose virtues he has come to hold in the highest regard.He has fallen for her without even realizing it.
The reveal of his identity hits her like a lightning strike. She is unsure whether to be angry with him, or simply relieved to have her friend returned to her at last. The budding romantic feelings she had begun to harbor for him are at odds with the easy, platonic companionship that they used to share.He is like two different people to her mind now, and she is having some difficulty in reconciling them.G'raha, on the other hand, is only relieved and elated that not only has he managed to save her life, but he has also been given his own back as well. Long years of toiling for his own demise have taken a toll, but now he has an entire life ahead of him that he didn't dare hope for before.
And so he takes a firm grasp on the opportunity before it slips away from him, and makes his heart known to the Warrior of Darkness.She is resistant to it, and vehemently so, when she realizes how fervent and sincere he is. She has nearly lost him twice now, and the coldness is creeping back in the absence of the Exarch's mystery. Feelings of being nothing more than a weapon once again take precedent, and she is reminded of every time in the past that she has allowed others to get close to her — platonic or otherwise — and they have been inevitably hurt, or worse.She had told Sidurgu, on that fateful night years before, that she would never again sully a "nice man" with her filthy hands. And so she does the only thing she believes she can in this situation. She rejects him.
Chapter 5: Out of the Cold
Returning from the First with all of the Scions intact becomes a complicated process, not least of all because of R'alma's disapproval of G'raha's self-sacrificing tendencies. All the more reason for her not to get romantically involved with him, so she thinks. Immediately following her rejection, he pleads with her not to send him away or shun him completely — he wants to stay by her side in whatever capacity he can, even if she will not love him back in the way he does her. Mirroring the relationship between Abaris and Apollo in that regard. She agrees, on the condition that he promise not to throw himself into danger unnecessarily, a condition he gladly accepts.
And then promptly breaks, as his body is crystallized following the final confrontation with Elidibus. G'raha pushes her to take his memories and consciousness back to the Source, to inhabit the younger body waiting within the Crystal Tower there, but she is hesitant. In her mind, the Crystal Exarch and G'raha Tia are two distinctly different people, and that he would choose to erase one in order to preserve the other angers her immensely. Not to mention the possible danger of losing them both, should complications in the blending of their souls arise.To her, the Exarch's body crystallizing could very well be his death for all she knows. And it breaks her.
However, upon returning to the Source with the Exarch's soul vessel in hand, she chooses to honor his wishes by going to the Crystal Tower to transfer his soul and memories to G'raha Tia. Before doing so, she awakens the younger man and, tearfully, apologizes for what she is about to do to him. He of course has no clue who she is, and is incredibly confused, but after the soul transference and the successful blending of memories, he teases her about it. R'alma still isn't sure about this new melding of two different people, but she realizes that this third man... This third entity stirs her heart in ways she doesn't understand.For one thing, he quickly proves himself to be more than capable of keeping up with the other Scions in terms of ability and martial prowess, and in fact is a match for R'alma herself in combat — a feat that precious few can claim. For another, he seems entirely undaunted by her cold refusal of his romantic affections, and continues treating her with the same warmth and familiarity that she had come to expect — from both the Exarch and G'raha Tia previously.And then it happens.Mysteriously one night, right before their departure for Old Sharlayan, G'raha and Alisaie find a stranger in R'alma's room. For several moments, there is confusion and turmoil, but then... G'raha is the only one who is able to recognize the soul of the woman he loves in the eyes of the man that now stands in her place. R'alma has had another strange body transformation. And he doesn't want to talk about it.
Over the course of getting to know his Warrior of Light and Darkness during their time together, G'raha has learned of R'alma's tendency to use alcohol to deal with certain difficulties. A fact that does not change with his new body, unfortunately, and G'raha ends up having to help him back to the Annex one night soon after their arrival in Sharlayan.This event brings to light some revelations about their odd relationship, in particular that he definitely still harbors feelings for R'alma. But he also gets his first glimpse into the fact that R'alma may also be hiding some feeling for him in return. He can't be positive — it may only be the influence of the alcohol, after all — but he tucks the information away for investigating when they are less pressed.
He nearly misses his chance, however. R'alma's facade first begins to truly crack after the incident in Garlemald, when G'raha very nearly becomes the mortal victim of the Warrior's hijacked body. To everyone else, R'alma carries on as if nothing was wrong. But G'raha knows better, and gets his dear friend to open up a bit. The conditions of their companionship are tested, and R'alma reveals that there is nothing he fears quite so much as losing those close to him. In particular, G'raha.The incident continues to haunt him even after returning from the moon, and in a fit to rid himself of the impending nightmares, R'alma drinks himself to the point of poisoning, forcing the Scions to rehabilitate him and a few of them to worry over his well-being. G'raha attempts to ease his friend's burdens, but R'alma is resistant, convinced that he is good for nothing more than as a weapon for the Scions' use, and wonders why G'raha seems to bother at all with his well-being. To which G'raha can only gently remind him of his recent confession and affection still harbored, even now as the world tilts dangerously toward apocalypse and R'alma is looking far less himself than ever.
One of the things that has prevented R'alma from acting on his growing feelings toward G'raha has been the hero worship and how uncomfortable that makes him. He feels like, on some fundamental level, there is a sort of power imbalance between them. That G'raha can't stand on his own the same way R'alma can as the Warrior of Light, and that it wouldn't be fair of him to initate a relationship with someone that couldn't stand on his level. However, the longer the two work together during the crisis that is the Final Days returned, the more he comes to realize that G'raha is more than capable of handling himself. That they are equals in almost every respect. But he is still worried about the fact that being close to him almost got G'raha killed on more than one occasion. And he feels fully responsible for that.
Ultima Thule is particularly hard for R'alma, who harbors a great amount of fear around being left alone, and of being responsible for other people's pain. G'raha's sacrifice is immensely painful for him, considering the promise he made G'raha make regarding putting himself in harm's way, and the affection he has been forcibly burying for some time now. He almost can't go on after G'raha leaves him, but somehow he does anyway.
After returning from Ultima Thule more or less in one piece, a great number of things that R'alma has been hiding end up coming to light by necessity. And G'raha is less than pleased by pretty much all of it. Not least of which is the fact that, the entire time since his most recent transformation, he has had a small tail that he's kept hidden under his clothes, and which ended up badly damaged on the way back on the Ragnarok because nobody knew it was there. After a lecture from Thancred about leaving things unsaid — since pretty much everyone at this point has picked up on the fact that R'alma is harboring feelings for G'raha, and since it is basically the same lecture that caused the rift between the two of them originally as well — the two pining lovers have a long conversation where they very nearly arrive finally at the conclusion that everyone else is waiting for them to reach.
It takes a few weeks for R'alma to recover enough to be capable of any kind of travel, during which he has ample time to think over his relationship with G'raha as well as what Thancred said to him. He finally comes to the realization that, despite his trepidation, he truly cannot stand to not have G'raha in his life. And that the scholar has possibly become the only person in the world who stands any chance of keeping pace with him in combat. Which, in his mind, means that G'raha can take care of himself, and does not require protecting or worrying over.
With this reassurance, he sets out to make his heart known to G'raha, though that feat is easier said than done. Seeking to start making good on the list of promises made at the end of the universe, the two make a trip to Ishgard as soon as R'alma is well enough, but the time and attention of the famed Warrior of Light is in high demand, and they are interrupted at every turn.R'alma very nearly loses his temper over the constant distractions, but a snowstorm drives the two indoors to warm up in the guest quarters at the Fortemps Manor. There, finally finding a quiet moment alone, he makes his confession.Obviously, G'raha was already aware — there were few who were not by this point — but he does not spare R'alma, instead making him voice it plainly.
He accepts and returns the affections, of course, and the two share a kiss, deciding that, fears be damned, they are going to pursue a romantic relationship along with whatever that will entail in the future.
Chapter 6: Intimate Relations
Their relationship is fraught with complications almost immediately. In the relative quiet following the threat of the Final Days, R'alma must come to terms with the fact that he finds himself in a body that is unfamiliar to him — a body that is also very attracted and intensely reactive to his new partner. At first he is able to easily dismiss or hide the discomfort he feels when his body reacts to their closeness during intimate moments, but it isn't long before the discomfort begins to make itself known in more obvious ways.
In the meantime, there is intimacy of another kind in abundance within their relationship. While in Ultima Thule, R'alma had pocketed some loose fragments of the Crystal Walkway, intending them to be a keepsake in the event that he was unable to bring G'raha back to the realm of the living. These shards, being made of pure Dynamis and infused with G'raha's essence, exhibit a unique quality in that they grow warm to the touch whenever G'raha is thinking about his love.Tataru has the shards made into a set of jewelry pieces for R'alma, which he wears almost exclusively after his recovery. In turn, he sets out to find a way to gift something similar to G'raha as well, and eventually succeeds in simulating the effect with a jewelry piece of his own. A trio of red triteleia flowers, magically preserved and mounted in a silver earring, set with a crystal that he has infused with some of his own essence. The effect isn't as strong as the pure Dynamis crystals, but it still works all the same.
The jewelry connects them, even when they are separated by their respective occupations and responsibilities, which only serves to bring them ultimately closer together as time goes on. But the roadblock in their physical intimacy becomes more and more difficult to ignore. Not least of all because R'alma seems to become more and more frustrated by it himself the longer it persists.
Frustrated and determined to clear what he sees as a hurdle in their relationship, R'alma once again resorts to a bit of alcohol to facilitate their intimacy, in the hopes that lowering his inhibitions will allow him to push past the discomfort and claim the sort of physical relationship that he craves with his partner. The gambit is a success, and in the process, G'raha gleans a bit more insight into the circumstances surrounding R'alma's body transformation and the reasoning behind his discomfort.With this information he is able to help guide his partner in further intimate encounters, until at last R'alma feels properly comfortable and confident with his new body and with his partner.
Things take a turn while R'alma is running his experiments on the Shifter potion formula, however. It comes to light that, during the time in which R'alma was in denial over his feelings for G'raha, his partner was in fact involved in an intimate affair with Estinien. While their involvement was not a secret necessarily, it was conducted discreetly, and thus was not common knowledge even among the Scions.R'alma's possessive streak raises its head. In a rage, he goes to confront Estinien over the still-ongoing affair, but the dragoon is not interested in taking his jealousy. Instead, he wrangles the angry mage into a compromised position and takes the opportunity to lecture R'alma about the unfairness of his reaction to the situation.Sunseeker males that are unbound by familial obligations or the title of Nunh frequently engage in a variety of polyamourous relationships. Having both come from Sunseeker culture, G'raha mistakenly assumed that R'alma would be indifferent to the arrangement, and since R'alma did not think to ask about any other entanglements, he did not bring it up of his own accord. Estinien is aware of all of this, having asked after their arrangement when G'raha and R'alma's relationship first began, and relays this explanation to the Viera in no uncertain terms.This prompts a much more reasonable discussion to take place between the briefly estranged lovers. G'raha is of the mind that R'alma would benefit greatly from expanding his romantic horizons a little, should he desire to do so. Though R'alma is still hesitant about the idea of sharing his partner with someone else, he agrees that contextualizing the circumstances with his own external involvement may help him come to terms with the reality of the situation.
The opportunity to do so presents itself sooner than he could have anticipated, as a fateful meeting in Aleport drops almost literally into his lap. He is on an assignment from the Adventurers' Guild when he happens to run into Erenville, also passing through on a job for the Gleaners' Guild. The two pass some time together at the local inn's tavern, and the topic of romance and multiple partners comes up.Not having much experience with Viera culture despite possessing the appearance of one, R'alma asks Erenville about their relational customs and mating habits. The Gleaner is more than happy to divulge, and they learn that the societal norms and expectations are not terribly different between their respective cultures, at least as far as unattached males are concerned.In fact, Viera men are often encouraged to seek out additional outlets and intimacies amongst each other as a means of strengthening bonds between both factions within the Warders as a whole, and individuals within each region.
The lesson is an educational one — in more than one respect. After a lengthy, heavily insinuating conversation and more than a few drinks, the pair end up sharing an inn room for the night, parting again the next morning on friendly terms and with intention to repeat the tryst should the opportunity arise again.
With his partner now sporting a new perspective, and seemingly open to the idea of a more fluid relationship structure, G'raha turns his focus to the task of trying to help mend the rift between R'alma and Thancred. His working theory is that R'alma still harbors some romantic feelings for the swordsman, and is compensating for the pain caused by using his anger and resentment as a shield.After a lot of conversation and persuasion, he orchestrates an encounter between the two. The encounter quickly devolves into a heated argument, which then in turn — thanks to a strategic application of alcohol — gives way to an impassioned kiss. G'raha's theory has been proven correct, though whether the relationship has been repaired still remains to be seen.
Chapter 7: Growing Family
Several months into the investigation into the Void — and nearly a year after the official start of their romantic relationship — R'alma and G'raha have an interesting wrench thrown into their circumstances. Through an unpredictable quirk of the completed Shifter potions, R'alma finds himself unexpectedly pregnant with G'raha's child.They discuss at great length whether or not to go through with it. R'alma dislikes the idea of being tied to one place by obligation, and doubts his competency as a parent, while G'raha is hesitant over the possibility of passing on his Allagan blood and the burden that responsibility would become.
Ultimately, however, the child represents a physical manifestation of their bond, and an opportunity to break in a meaningful way from the problematic aspects of the culture that they both hail from. R'alma is also keen on the idea of having something truly tangible the he had a hand in creating, something to stand as proof that he is capable of more than destruction and that he is more than just a weapon or a tool to be used.Bringing the child to term requires that R'alma forego his place in the Void investigation, as Y'shtola will not permit him to put himself or the child in any significant danger. He is also forced to remain in Sharlayan, where he was when he discovered the pregnancy, as Aetheryte travel weakens him considerably in his condition. G'raha opts to stay behind as well in order to watch over his partner, even when the investigation necessitates a trip to the First, choosing instead to send along some notes on the operation of the Crystal Tower for the use of the rest of the Scions still involved.R'alma, meanwhile, manifests Esteem to take his place, realizing that his presence and assistance will still be sorely needed in this endeavor, even if it is in a diminished form. He transfers his contract with his Voidsent avatar to Esteem and sends the two along with Y'shtola to fill the role of the Warrior of Light and Darkness.
The pregnancy is difficult for both of them to come to terms with, but they are able to lean on each other for support over the following months. As many of the Scions are still scattered to various corners of the world, they make the choice to keep the news under wraps for as long as they can. The exceptions to this, of course, being Y'shtola and Krile, as they needed to be let in on the situation in order to make arrangements for R'alma to board at the Baldesion Annex and for Esteem to join the Void expedition.The delivery itself is even more complicated, and G'raha and Krile are obliged to involve a number of chirurgeons and healers when it becomes apparent that R'alma requires surgery in order to facilitate a safe delivery. After several exhausting and fear-filled hours, however, the little one makes his monumental entrance into the world. Ar'lihn's arrival is quietly but fervently celebrated, with the news finally being shared with the others over the following weeks.
They do not pass along the news to their families, as neither of them are in contact with said families — though for very different reasons. For all intents and purposes, Krile and the Students of Baldesion are G'raha's family, and of course they are notified and involved in the celebration of the new family. But R'alma has not spoken with anyone from his tribe since leaving home some five or six years prior, and would prefer that to remain the case.This preference does not stop rumors from circulating, unfortunately, and before long word that R'alma Crissen, the famed Warrior of Light, has recently given birth to a child fathered by one G'raha Tia of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn reaches every local marketplace and gossip mill in the realm. The news resurrects some older rumors about the previous identities of the Warrior of Light, and soon the rumor that a Miqo'te woman by the name of R'alma may have bonded with this G'raha Tia and had a child reaches the ears of one R'vhebi Nunh — the very same Nunh that R'alma had once been betrothed to, and whose marriage arrangement he had fled his home to avoid.R'vhebi takes this news back to the Raptor tribe and puts together a small contingent — including R'alma's estranged parents and older sister — to travel to Sharlayan and retrieve their errant prodigal. They arrive loudly at the Scholar's Harbor, shouting their way through the checkpoint and demanding to speak with the so-called "Warrior of Light" and her Tia lover.It doesn't take long for R'vhebi to spot G'raha, sitting on a nearby bench with the infant. He raves, shouting that the child is the property of the Raptor tribe, and is his by right as the child's mother was promised to him. As he approaches, however, R'alma steps between them, firmly and angrily warning him against laying a hand on either of them. The two have a very heated exchange, during which R'alma informs the Nunh that the Miqo'te woman he is looking for is dead, that her name has been passed to others to uphold her legacy, and that he is chasing a ghost. Though R'vhebi refuses to believe it at first, he is directed to look more closely at the child's face. Ar'lihn's delicate skin is already sporting a pattern of soft green scales, further distancing his possible relation to the Raptor tribe and making him undesirable even should he be claimed by the family and taken back to the tribe as restitution for the loss of their prized daughter.Eventually they give up and turn to leave, but R'alma is left drained and shaken by the encounter. As he sits with G'raha to collect himself, R'sana — his older sister — approaches them. She confides in them that she did not come along to take her younger sister back, but rather to ask after her, as the two had been close once but had not spoken in some years. With some sorrow and trepidation, she asks if it is true that her sister is gone, which R'alma has no choice but to confirm.R'sana spends some time with them, asking after her sister's life and legacy, though she is eventually able to suss out that they are not being entirely truthful. Rather than bring attention to it, however, she instead introduces her own child who is accompanying her, a son of only four summers. Feeling some guilt over the messy situation, R'alma allows her a few moments with Ar'lihn, though he still strives to maintain the charade that they are not related.Before she leaves, she wishes the couple good fortune in raising their newborn, and promises to do what she can to stay in touch.
R'alma's AU Lore
Below is a brief profile and explanation of each of the various AUs that R'alma appears in
Fairytale AU
R'alma is a traveling botanist known to most as the Gleaner. He makes a living taking on commissions for exotic or rare plants, catering largely to Sharlayan academics. He is rarely seen in one place for extended periods of time, and his movements are often unpredictable, leading many to consider him a difficult man to track down.Though this is not entirely true, as R'alma does not make any particular effort to conceal his habits or travels. But he does tend toward keeping others at a distance, and finds it difficult to form connections with others due to his frequent travels.He hails from an especially reclusive Viera village in a distant jungle, where he grew up with his mother and younger sister until he came of age and was forced to leave like all the other young men of his tribe. The village is an isolated one, and holds strange customs due to an ancient curse that still plagues their people. Some of their culture and customs have been borrowed from Miqo'te tribes, originally a superstitious attempt to dodge the effects of the curse. While the attempt was unsuccessful, many within the village now boast Miqo'te blood mixed with their Viera ancestry, and still follow many of the customs such as naming conventions and familial greetings.
Modern AU
Bad Ending AU
A direct AU of the Endwalker storyline. While parading around in R'alma's body, Zenos succeeds in killing G'raha at Camp Broken Glass. This event sends R'alma into a spiral of rage and grief, beginning with him murdering the Crown Prince the very next time they meet, and culminating in him forming a permanent soul bond with his Voidsent avatar and taking up the mantle of a Reaper full time.As a result, Fandaniel's plans are ruined, Zodiark remains unharmed on the moon, and the Final Days have been averted for the time being. But R'alma's aether and dynamis are irrevocably corrupted by the bonding with Hecate, and she begins to influence his psyche in unpredictable ways.It is not intentional on her part. But being a denizen of the Void, corrupted herself by Darkness, and having such a monumental obsession with R'alma to begin with, her attempts to comfort him in his grief have less than ideal results.Eventually, his personality and mental state deteriorate so completely that he becomes little more than a feral lapdog, at Hecate's beck and call alone. A ravenous, untameable beast who relishes only in the destruction of any and all who stand in his way. He rampages unchecked across the realm for a time, killing and burning in an increasingly indiscriminate manner, until Hecate finally draws him with her back to the Void.He has not been seen again on the Source since, though the Scions are trying to find a way to get in contact with the Voidsent that took him. All the while, his soul slowly rots away within him as he is consumed by his own rage.
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Hey, y'all! ^ _ ^I'm Ralma (or Rags, if you prefer, or you can't go wrong with bi-disastersoup!).I am bi-gender, but prefer he/him pronouns whenever applicable. I also very likely have OSDD and am weighing options on getting it diagnosed.I'm a creator in his 30's currently obsessed with FFXIV. I'm a long-time fic writer, though I've only been writing in this particular fandom for a couple years. I also enjoy taking screenshots/posing my OC, and have dabbled a lot lately in visual novel style stories.I have been married for over a decade as well, and have an insanely smart little girl who keeps me very busy on a regular basis.
I have an immense amount of social anxiety, but I am always happy to respond to messages or get to know people. A lot of past trauma makes it hard for me to reach out to others first, but it is not that hard to coax me out of my hole with a little effort. Below are a number of places around that you can find me, so if you are so inclined, feel free to reach out!
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Fics by bi_disastersoup
Presented in as close to chronological order as possible
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~19.5k (in progress)
Tags: Eighth Umbral Calamity setting, Original Characters, One-sided Romance, Multiple Timelines POV, Time Travel, Angst and Feels, Post Apocalypse, Character Study
Summary:
Two hundred years after the Eighth Umbral Calamity devastated the world, what remains of Garlond Ironworks is doing what they can to enact their founder's final wish: Find a way to fix it. Part of that involves opening the Crystal Tower, though they aren't sure why or what they'll find inside. What they do find is beyond their wildest imaginings - a young Miqo'te man, held in stasis at the heart of the Tower, who claims to have been a member of the original expedition team. What follows is a mad scramble to finish Cid Garlond's master plan before the last remnants of civilization crumble completely. And to do that, they're going to have to convince G'raha Tia to help them.This story will explore the character shift from the brash young G'raha that locked himself up, to the quiet, stoic Crystal Exarch that led the Crystarium. Where did his bluster and bravado go? What was it that made him so singularly devoted to the cause of saving the First? And why does he always describe his memories of the alternate future as "painful"?
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~3k
Tags: One-sided Romance, Love Confessions, Unrequited Love, Angst and Romance, Rejection
Summary:
He knew her as a spirited Miqo'te girl, a rising star of an adventurer headed who knew where. He chased her as a legend in a time long gone, an unreachable but guiding force of hope. Now the Exarch realizes that the Auri woman he has come to know means much more to him than he ever thought she would. And he means to tell her as much before the new night has slipped away from them.But R'alma has far more baggage than he could ever have anticipated. And this will be the last night she dances where anyone can see her ever again.
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 27
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~1.5k
Tags: Mutual Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Sparring Session, "Oh... Oh..."
Summary:
R'alma and G'raha have an impromptu sparring session after returning to the Source, during which R'alma has a rather startling realization.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~6k
Tags: Gender Identity, Sex Swap, Fantasia Shenanigans, Unhealthy Coping Mechanism, Non-sexual Stripping
Summary:
The spell inside of Azem's memory crystal comes with an interesting side-effect — every time R'alma uses it, she catches a glimpse of the previous bearer, like peering through a foggy window into the past. But what would happen if she were to attune to it, in the same way she did with Fray? What more of her past life might she learn?
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 1
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~1.2k
Tags: Mutual Pining, Alcohol, Drunken Behavior, Almost Kiss
Summary:
G'raha finds himself in a compromising position while walking R'alma back to the Annex after a night out with some of the other Scions.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~2.1k
Tags: Mutual Pining, Alcohol, Drunken Behavior, Almost Kiss, Unreliable Narrator
Summary:
R'alma finds himself in a dangerous position after being pulled away from a drinking contest with Thancred (that he was definitely winning, right?). Five ilms is too much, he decides...
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~1.6k (ongoing)
Tags: Mutual Pining, Slow Romance, Unresolved Tension, Angst, Drabbles
Summary:
A collection of drabbles, ficlets, and other short prompt fills, all revolving around R'alma and his various friendships, relationships, and personality quirks.
How to (Not) Deal with Accidentally Causing the Apocalypse
Rating: M (Mature) | Words: ~8.5k
Tags: Alcohol, Excessive Drinking, Pining, Masturbation, Alcohol Poisoning, Angst and Hurt/Comfort
Summary:
After returning from the whirlwind trip to Garlemald and then to the moon, R'alma is having some difficulties handling everything that has just happened and the implications of it all. His resolve crumbles, and he locks himself in his room at the Annex to pursue some less-than-ideal methods of coping with the horror of the impending Final Days.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~2.4k
Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Sacrifice
Summary:
The atmosphere is tense aboard the Ragnarok when R'alma returns a beaten, bloody mess. G'raha is compelled to do something incredibly reckless to try to save his life.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~8k
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Fantasia Shenanigans, Nightmares, Injury Treatment
Summary:
Immediately following the return of the Ragnarok to Old Sharlayan, the Scions rush the Warrior of Light to the nearest infirmary to aid in the recovery of his extensive injuries sustained at the end of the universe. But R'alma Crissen's second and most recent body transformation had some... interesting side effects that he's been keeping hidden from them. Needless to say, more than one of the Scions has some choice words for his reckless decision-making — some of which he himself had once used to lecture his friends.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~3.5k
Tags: Romance, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, First Date, First Kiss
Summary:
After recovering fully from his injuries, R'alma has decided to start right away on the list of promises he made to G'raha at the ends of the universe. First on the list is a trip to Ishgard, during which he is determined to take the advice he's been given and finally make his heart and affections known to his companion. But that objective proves surprisingly difficult, given that they can't seem to get any significant amount of time to themselves in a city where the name and face of the fabled Warrior of Light are so well-known...
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 16
Rating: G (General Audiences) | Words: ~800
Tags: Romance, Fluff, Gifts, Language of Flowers
Summary:
R'alma doesn't really understand the meaning behind flowers, despite being an accomplished botanist, but that doesn't stop him from giving them as gifts to the people he cares about.
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 28
Rating: G (General Audiences) | Words: ~250
Tags: Romance, Fluff, Gifts, Indirect Kiss
Summary:
R'alma and G'raha make use of the unique property of their gifted accessories when they are inevitably separated.
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 21
Rating: G (General Audiences) | Words: ~250
Tags: Romance, Fluff and Humor, Secret Relationship
Summary:
It wasn’t that he was trying to hide it, exactly. But R'alma hadn’t had the opportunity to make any kind of announcement.
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~1k
Tags: Fluff and Humor, Angst, First Kiss, Flashback, Unreliable Narrator
Summary:
If one were to ask the Warrior of Light when his first kiss was with his current partner, he would answer quickly and without hesitation. But he'd be wrong about it...
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 6
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~500
Tags: Romance, Fluff and Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Only One Bed
Summary:
R'alma didn't think anything of sharing a small tent together in Mor Dhona. They'd done it before with no issue. But there's one thing keeping him awake that he definitely wasn't banking on: sexual tension.
Fire Running Through My Veins — Chapter 15
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~1.1k
Tags: Romance, Fluff and Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Suggestive Themes, Interrupted
Summary:
Truth be told, G'raha really did assume it would be some hapless passerby, stumbling across them in the heat of the moment, that would finally interrupt them one day. What actually happened was the farthest thing from his mind.
Rating: E (Explicit) | Words: ~6.6k
Tags: Alcohol, Drunk Sex, Fluff, Touch-Starved, First Time, Explicit Consent
Summary:
Ever since the start of their official relationship, G'raha has noticed that R'alma is acting strangely with regard to their physical intimacy. Specifically, there is none, and the Warrior of Light seems bothered by it. But when G'raha arrives at R'alma's apartment one night to try to talk to him about it, he finds that he is in for a surprise — and that talk is going to have to wait until tomorrow morning...
Rating: E (Explicit) | Words: ~1.4k
Tags: Incorrect Use of Combat Abilities, PWP, Accidental Voyeurism, Parallel Play, Hate Sex
Summary:
In the heat of the moment, R'alma sometimes summons Esteem by accident. And sometimes he summons his voidsent avatar by accident at the same time. And in those moments, the tension between them is electrifying...
Rating: T (Teen, rating subject to change) | Words: ~9.2k (in progress)
Tags: Modern AU setting, Flower shop, Love Triangles, Guest OC, Cowriter, Pining, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Humor, Slow Burn, Flirting, Tension, Angst with a Happy Ending
Summary:
R'alma Crissen owns and operates the Rosewood Stalls, a quaint little flower shop on Main street in the sleepy little town of East Aldenard. It's a quiet, peaceful existence, and he's fairly happy with it -- until one fateful day, someone walks into his shop and changes all of that forever...
Rating: T (Teen) | Words: ~17.2k
Tags: Fairytale AU, Fae Curses, Original Folklore, Prey/Predator Dynamics, Urban Fantasy, Unspecified Setting, Obsession, Pining, Strangers to Lovers, Lovesickness, True Love's Kiss, Fate and Destiny
Summary:
Once upon a time, a fox became trapped in an enchanted forest and couldn't catch any dinner because all the animals were bewitched by the fae. He became obsessed with chasing down a particular black hare, to the point of madness. No matter what he tried, the hare eluded him. But his spirit lives on in the form of a particular Miqo'te family, manifesting as bright red eyes and red hair, and he's still on his quest to catch his prey. Or so the family tells it.(A story featuring an original classic-fable-style folktale, heavily inspired by Faerun's Cerunnos myth and the manga Fruits Basket, masterfully illustrated by the incredible West!)
Visual Novel Archive, presented in release order (not chronological). Each VN is contained within its own slideshow.
